i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do vagina's smell?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I did not marry a roomba.
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