My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
