the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
