Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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