those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
