Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
