Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
