can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the day after is always just damage control
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
