She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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