so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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