it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize