I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
