if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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