I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
