No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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