I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I want her autograph on my taint
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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