I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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