can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
