Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
