I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
