just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You took a bar mat shot.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
