Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
