we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
