they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
