this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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