do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
