His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
