The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
