I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
