She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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