i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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