Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
