i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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