he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize