Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
