laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
