Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
