Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This baby is an asshole
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
