i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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