ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
