I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
