Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
