Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
