I haven't been this sober since birth.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
