I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
