And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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