I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
