We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We got so high we made milksteak
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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