don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
