Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
