Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
