Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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