He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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